Hey guys, me here with another well-written movie review to help you figure out which media you want to consume out there in the weird and wonderful marketplace that is our world. In the last couple of entries on this blog, I wrote about my current discontent and that by seeing films, I was able to escape that horrendous feeling for a few hours. I did that same thing again last night.

In a sub-par theater in the middle of fuck-stick nowhere, I treated myself to the latest film in the Apes reboot trilogy from director Matt Reeves. In War, Caesar (Andy Serkis), finds himself and his people in the middle of a deadly conflict with a special forces soldier (Woody Harrelson) and his men that, when concluded will determine the fate of what is left of America and the larger planet.

The Good

I say this with all of the conviction and credibility that a man like myself can possess, this is, to be quite frank, the single greatest conclusion to a trilogy of films that I have ever had the pleasure of seeing. Think of any third movie, either they shit the bed in a spectacular manner and damage the legacy of the installments that preceded them or, they have some sort of absurd element that is endlessly mocked and excoriated by those who watch the piece (The multiple endings in Return of the King being an example of this.).

War has none of that. The effects from Peter Jackson’s WETA are perfect, Andy Serkis deserves an Oscar for his acting and Harrelson’s villain is in the movie sparingly and not over-used. In the end, things come together in a nice bow and there are no pointless sequences designed to set up spin-offs in the “Apes Cinematic Universe”. Other directors could learn a shit ton from this movie.

The Bad

Ok, so I know I said that the film is perfect in literally every way I can think of, but I suppose this section should be filled out for completion’s sake. So here is the one bad part of this film…

Woody’s character wears sunglasses too much!

For real, I know the guy is supposed to be this big and bad dude who strikes fear into people. But he wears the things at night and even on cloudy days in the dead of winter. I don’t get it. Maybe people in the service wear them a lot as a means of defense? Who the hell knows.

The Verdict

The modern-day Planet of the Apes reboot trilogy and War is one of the finest bits of film-making ever conceived. If life has got you down and you find yourself in need of a pick-up to keep going, get all three of these movies and all three Toy Story films and binge for a night. They’re equal to each other in excellence and have just as many iconic moments between their entries.

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