Hey everyone, its I, your humble writer and well-traveled bald man with a beard (Coming to you from parts unknown. I’m fine, for the moment.). I just recently finished graduate school in America’s capital, earned a master’s degree in journalism and met many new and wonderful friends and even burned the odd bridge or two in the last 12 months. I had a blast, was taught by professors who are in my opinion leagues ahead of most from my undergrad and spent a small fortune on kick-ass Italian food (Much love Manoli Canoli. Miss you deeply.).
Now, I know that the media industry in general (For those who are ambitious and want to rise to prominence.) is a very migratory space and so as a result I generally am fine with moving around a lot, but for once, the same tradition of loading up the car and pulling out of the driveway attached to the dwelling where I used to sleep, eat, cry and use the bathroom is hitting me hard.
No, not in the way you think.
I’m not going to be a crying and blubbering mess on the floor and I am not sitting alone in a dark room binge eating ice cream. Instead, I find my mind is in a state of intense and heavy turmoil.
What does the future hold for me?
For the longest time, I had a very serious life goal I wanted to accomplish (I won’t get into it here for privacy reasons. But if you know me, you know what I am talking about.) and now I can actively feel it slipping away from me. What happens to one’s self when the thing they’ve wanted and been laser focused on for a decade turns out to be unobtainable? Most can adapt to be sure (That’s why Al Gore focused on the environment after 2000.), but what if I’m not in that space? Honestly, I fear that if things don’t turn out, I’ll end up being consumed and very bitter.
Going back to traveling and shifting residences, can I continue to do that in the future and not go crazy?
Already, I find that I’m putting off certain things that I normally would do because I know that eventually I’ll take off out of an area. I’ve avoided relationships and other community involvement opportunities to my detriment. What does it do to a person when they’re an island unto themselves constantly? I mean, I know people, but it gets increasingly hard to be apart from them.
Ultimately, I don’t know what the future holds. For now, all I can really do is apply for jobs and hope that I can find somewhere good enough to settle in. Though the nomadic lifestyle is fun, it is beginning to weigh on me. I’m not sure I can continue to do it, but don’t want to be bogged down somewhere that will drive me to absolute madness either.