Hello everyone. Me here again with another thrilling update on my life. As many of you know, I tried to begin my career in media and life in America with just bachelor’s degree after finishing school at W.S.U., due to being ill suited to the position I was working at (I still feel awful about that.), I had to leave and pursue other options.
In the face of returning to Canada or going back to school, I chose school. Specifically a graduate program at American University in Washington D.C., I got accepted, offered some aid to go there and just registered for classes the other day after hours of issues.
Though I am excited to go to the institution, I must admit I am feeling a lot of other emotions as well. Stuff that I thought I wouldn’t fixate on at this age in my life.
Mainly, I’m concerned about failing. The thought of not being able to hack it and subsequently still being faced with a massive student loan to pay off keeps me up some nights. I don’t know what I’d do then, maybe work in a menial job or something.
In addition, the thought that I would produce work that I’m not proud of leaves me shaking like a leaf. I went through that already at my first college and it was tough. Though others liked a lot of the content I put out, I was rarely if ever satisfied with any of it. Much like having an injury and being unable to fix it, this anguished me mentally.
Ultimately, though I have these feelings, I am going to push them aside and bowl through. To borrow a quote from a show that has helped me through down times, “there is nothing for you behind you, all that matters is what’s ahead”, and I couldn’t be more excited for it.