The Waiiiit really is the Haaardest Paart
When I left you last in the ongoing chronicling’s of my personal life, I had applied to Graduate School in DC, saw Deadpool in theaters and was in the process of investigating citizenship in the nation of Poland. Though things were winding down at my job, I felt good about where I was.
My, can things change on a dime, due to my lack of skill, I ended up leaving my position before the agreed upon departure date of March 1st, 2016. That has thrown things into a deep tail spin.
Rent and money for dog food aside, I’m also concerned with how I will make my way out to Washington DC. As it stands right now, getting accepted into one of the fine educational institutions in that region of the nation is the last chance I have of staying in the United States.
Recently in that application process, I completed an interview that was recorded via Skype. Though I found myself feeling confident and my dear friend Kuba told me such procedure is a formality, I can’t help but wonder if I unwittingly screwed up my chances of moving east.
I find out in 5 weeks.
Yes, normally I have a good degree of patience for any long term wait, but I find that this is fraying my nerves down to their last thread. I mean, I have been tossing and turning a lot.
Some nights, I wake up screaming after incredibly bizarre dreams. In some I am assaulted by a sentient piece of bread with arms and legs, in others I am delivering the mail in the nude, but every single resident of the street that I am on is one of the Gorn (Lizard people from Star Trek).
At other times, my stress and anxiety about my future is causing me to be utterly forgetful when awake. Just the other night whilst making some pizza bagels, I put the tray of frozen processed food into one of my kitchen cupboards instead of the oven, cleaning that up was not too fun.
Perhaps the worst thing I’ve let myself do though is be unnecessarily cruel to my dog when he misbehaves. If I had video footage of each time I yelled at him to stop barking or forcibly pushed him off of my bed so that I could have more room to lie on while sleeping, you’d call me nuts.
I wish I hadn’t done any of this, but I did. Am I embarrassed? Sure. Will it end? I don’t know. To borrow a quote from a book I read some time ago, “all wisdom is contained in the words wait and hope.” And right now, as of this piece being published, that’s all I can really do for myself.
Wish me luck everyone, I‘d really like to go back to school and change my career. What I am doing right now has proven to be a less than desirable course of personal action. Utterly sad.