I must admit, when it comes to Facebook I’m not a fan of any of the apps or games that the service has become immensely well known for. I hate Candy Crush (My Mother loves it.), I don’t use those stupid “Which Character are You?” quizzes and I don’t care to look at maps that show the locations of my Facebook friends at various spots all over the world and its continents.
But today is a little different, maybe it’s the fact that I’m feeling hideously ill (Don’t eat 4 bags of candy in one sitting.) or just the pain of nostalgia, but I decided to utilize the services “On This Day” application to see if I’d achieved any personal growth in the last few years of life.
Below are some of the prior kernels of wisdom I decided to share with the world on November 7th’s of years past. None of it is really shocking or earth shaking, as you can plainly see.
In all of that, you get a good mix of the things that are usually on my mind. Longing for close friends, musings on pop culture and other assorted ramblings about goings on in my life. After seeing all of that again, I’m left wondering something, have I really achieved any maturation?
Sure, I’ve graduated from college, am trying to make a go of life (I find I’m not succeeding at that.) and I make less silly comments on the internet. But I’m feeling like this is a false positive.
If I were to really judge myself, I’m more of a Kidult, someone who physically resembles an older and responsible person, but still behaves in a childish way. I mean, I still find that I am capable of bursting into a fit of the giggles at humor designed for a 5 year old, eat like I have the metabolism of an 8 year old and manage my intimate relationships like someone in Junior High. And not even ninth grade, but like the first couple of months of seventh grade in the winter.
Maybe, much like Michael Jackson (Minus the Molestation and utter creepiness.), I too am a modern day Peter Pan. Perhaps I am incapable of growing up. It is true recently that whilst buying kitchenware for the current place that I am existing at I began to feel this immense level of sadness at adhering to a rigid normality, the thought of getting married scares me even more.
Bottom line is this dear readers, I don’t know what the future holds for me. For now I’ll keep writing on this blog and will strive to maintain a high level of critical introspection towards myself. I get the sense that if I ever lose that; I’d probably end up conducting myself in a far less normal manner in polite society. I’d probably become one of those weird guys who lives in the woods and eats a lot of cardboard. Or something even more insane with a more absurd bent.