My writing style has been described in a lot of ways through the years. Burnsian, witty and yet populist, a cross between Marilyn Manson and Walt Disney (I don’t get that one either.) and similar to the speaking style of Chef from “South Park”. The last one is my obvious favorite.
So, to begin the meat of this piece, allow me to say “Hello Children”. Today we’re going to head on down to the Magnolia State, or Mississippi as a lot of Klansmen affectionately call it. Specifically, we’re going to visit the City of Senatobia and examine a graduation ceremony that occurred their earlier this month. Not so much the event itself, but what occurred after it ended.
You see, during this traditional ceremony that I never went to at the end of my college or high school careers, four people in the audience cheered as their children received their diplomas. Now, you’d think the appropriate response would be to do nothing; and you’d be correct, and also a great deal smarter than Senatobia Municipal School District Superintendent Jay Foster.
In response to this clearly raucous activity that you can see a clip of here, this borderline Aristotle had 4 individuals ejected from the ceremony and later filed charges against them for disturbing the peace, punishable by a $500 dollar fine or six months in jail if they can’t pay.
In spite of the wave of criticism the man has borne as a result of his actions, he doesn’t seem to be backing down from them at all. In a conversation with CNN, Foster actually said that a reminder to be quiet was “Printed in the program”, and as we all know, those things are akin to the Ten Commandments. If ye break the rules at a band concert, thou shalt be banished to Hell.
Now maybe the man is right. Maybe if one person cheers, then two more will cheer, then the whole building will start cheering, dogs and cats will start mating together, fire will fall from the sky, Satan and his minions will take over New Jersey and all of mankind’s money will now be printed on old crackers. In short, complete and utter hysteria if anyone shouts “Woo Hoo!” at a Senatobia High School graduation ceremony now or ever in the centuries and decades to come.
Or, maybe this guy is a pompous and insane nutcase. Maybe Mr. Foster is too cruel and authoritarian in his small and minute position and should be fired or forced to resign from his job. Maybe Mr. Foster should seriously examine his sanity and apologize to the people that he decided were not allowed to celebrate with their children on an important day in their lives.
Something tells me that of the two scenarios I described above, the second one is the more correct course of action. I can’t put my finger on it, but I get the sense that I’m right about this my diamonds. This guy should be banished from working in education, for a very long time.
P.S. If you’d like to call or email Mr. Foster and chat about his genius decision making, his info is right here. Remember, be nice and don’t mock him too much. Even fools have feelings.