Ah, topics related to various areas of life that I will never have any personal experience in. Don’t you just love it when I sit down to write about those with that style of writing that one of my more hippy-dippy teachers calls an “acerbic wit”? Me too. It really is something amazing at times.

This week, my cornucopia of thoughts originated in a conversation I had with a friend after I posted about zebra steak eating nutcase and noted piece of shit conspiracy theorist Alex Jones losing custody of his children in a court case. Due to my dislike of him being extremely personal for reasons you can ask me about any time (In short, I’ve eaten at Comet Ping Pong and loosely know Lenny Pozner), I thought that this was a wonderful punishment that hopefully hurt him.

She disagreed.

According to my friend, though Mr. Jones may be a sentient pile of garbage, he’s still the father to his children and thus has a right to see them. This, with all due respect, is fucking nonsense.

History is filled with people who have had kids and have been wildly awful human beings.

Ever hear of Dennis Rader? No. Well allow me to educate your uninformed self dear reader. From 1974 until the early 1990’s, Mr. Rader killed nearly a dozen people in the state of Kansas. He was dubbed the BTK Killer after sending letters stating that his process was to Bind, Torture and Kill his victims. He was active in the local church scene in his town of residence…

And he also had two children.

Go up to Stinkachusetts (New Jersey) and you’ll find one Isidore Heath Campbell. For those who don’t remember headlines that were all the rage when former President Barack Obama was first elected, this dad named his child “Adolf Hitler Campbell”. Seriously, I’m not lying to you.

Now, to be fair to Mr. Nazi, a documentary in which he was featured called “Meet the Hitler’s” did claim that when child protective services visited his home, no evidence of physical or emotional abuse was found, but there’s just one massive fucking problem with this case.

And I’ll type it out in all caps to make my point.

GIVING SOMEONE A SHITTY NAME IS CHILD ABUSE!!

But in America, we weirdly allow people to name their children anything that they want. Is someone who really names their kid Adolf Hitler a person who should still be allowed to see their kids simply because they are theirs?

Bottom lines, the answer is absolutely NO! Just because you have a child doesn’t mean you have a right to be around said child. If you’re a piece of shit who questions whether the Sandy Hook Shooting was a hoax or someone dense enough to name your child after one of the worst genocidal monsters in all of human history, the state gets to limit your god-dammed access.

And no, saying “I’m still their Mom/Dad,” doesn’t count for shit.