Can I Handle my new Life?
So, I’ve made a transition recently. After 4 years in college and a brief detour at home, I accepted a job in the United States and got on a plane to the City of Bowling Green, KY. At first, I thought I could handle the experience and adapt, but now, as time goes by I’m not so sure.
I mean, yes, I was able to secure an apartment, am currently in the process of obtaining an in state driver’s license (Oh, how I look forward to re-doing all the testing!) and the people I work with seem fine so far. But, there’s this gnawing feeling beginning to work its way into my mind.
Am I capable of immersing myself in such normality? Honestly, at this point I’m beginning to doubt it. Historically, I’ve only been at my best when in a chaotic/unusual situation (Africa, being the only guy in a house full of female roommates, living in Los Angeles, etc.) or dealing with reprehensible people and ruining their daily routine (More on that later, maybe.) and hobbies. The notion that I could build a stable pattern out here is puzzling to me and even a tad scary.
Outside of that hesitance to be normal, I find this part of America to be a little…..colorful if you will. Now, I’m not saying that everyone here is a little dense (Because the majority are not.), but having seen an enormously obese woman drag her 5 toddler sized children into a liquor store and watched in a mixture of fascination and horror as a man in a wife beater and shorts proceeds to try out the various deodorants on sale in Wal Mart (You can’t unsee what goes on there.), I’m not certain if I’ll be able to stand the next insane thing and go about my business without talking.
And, if that wasn’t enough, I find that when outside of an area where one of my close friends is nearby, I struggle immensely to connect with people and make friends. So far in my time here (I arrived on the 28th of September), I’ve never spent time with anyone aside from myself outside of work. Really that’s much like my time in Washington (While there I didn’t make a single close friend until I was half way through my degree.), but differs as when one gets older, it becomes more and more difficult to accept new people into ones daily circle of associates.
So, for now I’ll keep doing what I’m doing, but I don’t know if it will last. My parents may have been comfortable living in a small place in the middle of nowhere, but I’m not. If I can get my immigration issues taken care of, I’ll be here for a bit and eventually move on. If I can’t, well, there’s a reason I’m exercising and studying French, that reason being the Foreign Legion.
Take care everyone, and if this all ends badly, know that I adore you all, really.