Hillary Clinton Part 2: The Re-Clintoning

Today was a typical post W.S.U Moms Weekend Sunday for me. I rose late after spending the prior evening gallivanting about town with my peers, made myself some lovely macaroni with Siracha and sat down at my computer to pour over the day’s news whilst applying for jobs. As I sat down to look over the latest data from my YouTube channel, I noticed a peculiar video.

Posted to a channel named after Hillary Clinton, the piece depicted several individuals across the country preparing to do various things in their lives. A woman planting her garden, a mother and daughter preparing to move and two brothers preparing to start their own business are highlighted. At the end, the former First Lady makes an appearance to tell every single person in the Western Hemisphere what we’ve all already known since Obama was elected in 2008.

Hillary has decided to run for President, again. To paraphrase what I’ve previously said, if we end up voting her or Jeb (Apparently Hispanic?) Bush into the Oval Office, the American electorate ought to be certified by a group of psychiatrists as indisputably and irreparably nuts.

I could re-visit some of the scandals that I’ve previously weighed in on, but I’m not one for looking into the past (My, how different I am from the American electorate). So, I’ll just illuminate a few new ones for you dear reader. I hope at least some of it matters to you.

Remember the flap from earlier this year when Clinton had to explain her use of a private email during her tenure at the State Department? Well, if you don’t recall. Our illustrious former Secretary of State took some flak for using a private email account that wouldn’t be subject to open records laws for her work and personal correspondences. What was her reason for the off the books email? “She thought it would be easier to have one phone and one email account instead of two phones with two separate emails on each that she would have to carry around.

That is total and utter bullshit. For starters, she’s the Secretary of State and a former First Lady. The notion that she couldn’t hand over one of her phones to a trusted member of her security detail is absurd. She’s not Sisyphus. A phone is not a terribly heavy piece of equipment.

Secrecy aside, the woman’s penchant for hypocrisy is also something that should cause alarm for American voters. Ever hear of Pacific Rubiales? Well, you’re about to. Pacific Rubiales is an oil company in Colombia. A few years ago, its striking oil workers were forced off of the picket lines by members of the Army. After renouncing the concept of unionization, they were allowed to return to work. What does this have to do with Clinton you ask? Read on my diamond.

While running for office in 2008, Hillary was a critic of a proposed free trade deal with Colombia that would cause this oil company to reap huge benefits. According to the website Gawker, Clinton slammed the deal as being bad for labor rights. However, once being confirmed as Secretary of State, she quickly changed her tune and ended up supporting the agreement.

According to the International Business Times, this was because the founder of P.R. was donating millions of dollars to the Clinton Foundation. What a nice example of integrity from the woman who once said “let’s continue to stand up for those who are vulnerable to being left out or marginalized”. Clearly, we have a modern day Wonder Woman in our midst, do we not?

Look, I hate to be one to lecture people, but imagine me pointing my finger at you as you read this next sentence. Don’t do this America, vote for someone, anyone else. Yes, you’d have a chance to make history by electing the first female, but you’d end up undoing that legacy when you saw how horrible she’d be as a President. In a just world, Ferraro would’ve beaten her to it.


One Comment on “Hillary Clinton Part 2: The Re-Clintoning

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